The value of the “pickup artist” in society may be much argued, but there’s something that’s not open for debate: many of the “super fast seduction techniques” that the gurus sell are just plain good social skills.
A couple of female bloggers recently embedded themselves (no pun intended) with a pickup guru’s workshop, and although they came away with the theory that the guys probably weren’t getting their money’s worth (and I agree: half of the usual instructor’s patter involves telling you how this stuff gets him laid like Mick Jagger, and he’ll never mention the enormous amount of rejection even a top PUA will encounter), amongst the either poorly expressed or incorrectly heard concepts were a few nuggets they thought were true enough:
- The knob/switch attraction theory. Guys are on/off based on looks, girls are variable and changeable based on various criteria. This doesn’t mean you can retrieve that One Special Girl who rejected you long ago, but if disagreement over Dave Matthews is the only stumbling block, sure.
- You only have three seconds to approach. As Yoda would say, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘stare.'”
- Talk a lot. Not too much, just enough to match her.
- Rejection isn’t personal. There are so many reasons for rejection. Advanced social skills include recognizing it early and moving on quickly.
- Go first. What they mean is “assume friendliness.” Make eye contact, be playful.
- Give her a strong direction. You are the man. Your role in society is to chart the course.
- The “yes and” approach. This is basically for younger guys who will find that girls often blurt out crap like “are you gay?” when they really don’t mean it. For that, it’s great.
- She’s not being a bitch, she’s being cautious. The truest statement in the bunch.
“Gurus” have a vested interest in making you think these super-secret ninja methods are magic bullets for getting around any woman’s defenses and making her helpless to your (lack of) charms.
8 Woman-Approved Tips From Pick-Up Boot Camp [Asylum.com]