I’m being a little sarcastic with the title: obviously, if it was that easy everyone would do it. However, nobody should be able to say he doesn’t know how to make a positive change in his life.
One of the “how-to” sites I follow, Dumb Little Man, features a lot of ghost-written tips, followed by extensive comments by people who think they can do better. The Art of Changing Easily & Gracefully is one of those rare posts where the commenters almost all praised the author. I agree, even if the title is just as misleading as mine.
Cath Duncan sets out the clear path to improving what’s lame and fixing what’s broke:
- Accept yourself exactly as you are. Although positive affirmations might not drag you out of a funk, beating yourself up won’t help either. Everyone’s different, and everyone has their stuff. Don’t hate it, change it.
- Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. The whole basis for the “Law of Attraction,” aka “The Secret,” turns on this. Focusing on what you don’t want can actually attract what you don’t want. So concentrate on what you do want.
- Get familiar with what you want. Know just what you’re looking for. Find resources that will tell you what it’s like to be what you want to be. Get some advice from the horse’s mouth. This will help you with the next critical steps.
- Focus on changing your thinking, rather than focusing on changing your behavior. This includes kicking those limiting beliefs to the curb. You need to stop thinking of reasons you can’t be what you want to be, and start thinking of reasons you can.
- Focus on the feelings. What will it feel like to achieve your goal? How will it feel to have that dream job? What will it be like to talk to beautiful women? How will you carry yourself when you’re successful? Think about these things and you’ll actually start feeling them now.
- Break your change into small, achievable steps you can take on a daily basis. It’s not just a cliché: every epic journey does start with a single step. Plan it out on paper. When you find a step you’ve missed, put that down too.
- Practice, practice, practice. Cath associates this with “practicing” the way the change will feel, and that’s valid. But you should also understand that what you might think of as failure is only practice for success. You learn, and then you do better next time.
- Surround yourself with people who are being the way you want to be and living the life you want to live. This means potentially leaving behind friends who “playfully” put you down, or even family members who don’t truly believe in you. Find people who can be mentors and support.
Cath goes into this in more detail in her article, so head over there and start building your success plan. And on the off chance you have no idea what you want, there’s an article for that too.
The Art of Changing Easily & Gracefully [Dumb Little Man]