Tighty Whities: A Cautionary Tale

by Michael on October 13, 2009 · 0 comments

Do you know who wears white Jockey shorts? This guy!

When you next get caught on YouTube horsewhipping a bench while shouting barely intelligible names of the players who screwed your team’s season, don’t you want to look your best?

Well, this is what you look like (minus the bench-whipping and shouting) in tighty-whities. Come at a girl like this (even minus the bench-whipping and shouting) and don’t be surprised if she runs. At best, you’ll remind her of that bedroom scene in Wayne’s World.

There’s a huge variety of underwear available to you. Most of them, however, you can disregard completely unless by some stroke of luck you’re a competition bodybuilder. Likewise, boxers are a little old-fashioned, and you can really only wear them with baggy pants. Instead, focus on two primary cuts: the trunk and the boxer brief. They’re similar, with the boxer brief cut longer in the leg. In general, if you’re larger, go with the boxer brief. Even within these two general styles of undies, there are a range of cuts and colors: longer, shorter, different types of fly, higher and lower rise.

Fit is also simple: you don’t want them to sag. In general, buy a size lower than you think you should, but if you’re new to them you may need to experiment. Think snug but not strangling. No, you can’t try them on in the store’s dressing room and put them back on the rack if they don’t fit. Ew. Just buy ’em and try ’em.

Most men stick with the same style of undies forever. Some since their moms bought undies for them. Times change, but there’s one thing that doesn’t: you never know when you might need a sexy female paramedic…

[Browse boxer briefs at Amazon.com]

[Browse trunks at Amazon.com]

0 comments… add one now

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: