I don’t want to have to write anything about Tiger Woods and his “woman problem“: I don’t care how famous you are, these things are really between you, your spouse and the eight or nine girls you’ve been sleeping with.
But now that his infidelity has been laid bare, guys are doing their best to make it a biological inevitability that it’s all about a “high status male” trying to spread his seed far and wide. And let’s face it, Tiger has about the highest status of anyone not addressed as “Mr. President.” He’s the richest athlete ever, he’s carved a muscular physique despite playing a sport dominated by beer guts, and by all accounts, he’s been the very definition of discreet…up until he failed to realize how cell phones work.
But that’s not why what happened happened. In reality, he was apparently a lonely guy, away from home for weeks at a time to do his job. As a child prodigy, he didn’t have the same opportunity for a vibrant social life that you and I have had. His life has been spent living and breathing golf. His father pushed him hard to excel in the sport. My guess at his teenage dating life is that it was probably nonexistent.
As an adult, he has the money to do anything he has ever dreamed of. He travels the world. He’s the most successful person at his job and has a face that’s instantly recognized by just about anyone who sees him. This all makes him an “alpha male” in the eyes of the world, whether or not he feels like one. Women want him because he’s rich and famous and not a gargoyle.
The point is that he has enormous pressure, not to “spread his seed,” but to grab the candy that is constantly being shoved in his face. Wow, it’s a hot girl, and she wants to have sex with me now.
What does this mean for you and me?
What can we take away from this and apply to our lives?
Well, first and foremost, if we don’t tell multiple partners they’re the only one, we’re one alpha trait better than Tiger: we have congruence. An alpha won’t sneak around, and will be who he says he is. This enables him to go through life without being caught in (very expensive) lies.
Second, understand that if you’ve come from a life where you didn’t have a chance to date a lot or meet beautiful women, and suddenly you’re rolling in them (and if you work to improve yourself, your social skills and your “game,” this can be you), you may need to get that “wow, it’s a hot girl” feeling out of your system before you get involved in any long-term relationships, especially a marriage. Date around. Sleep around (safely!) if you must. Just do it while being honest and congruent, especially to yourself.
Last, the one person you really need to be in touch with is yourself. Meditate. Journal. Build a life based on what you love and value. Maintain a circle of good friends, and end any toxic relationships with friends or family. The part with the women will fall in place naturally.
And be glad you did these things. I don’t think Tiger had the chance.