Would You Date a Smarter, Richer Woman?

by Michael on January 20, 2010 · 3 comments

The New York Times this week raises an interesting point: as women earn more than they used to, own their own businesses and seek ongoing education, they’re increasingly “marrying down.” And having a hard time finding the men to do so, apparently. (Well, when Gawker is calling you a “leech with a penis” it kind of…oh, right, it’s Gawker. No one cares.)

On her way out to buy...you. (Photo by MJB FL)

We’re all bachelors here so we could care less about the marriage angle. Instead, the question is, faced with a growing percentage of women in the dating pool who are more well-off and/or educated than us, can we deal?

I think we can. Personally, I’ve dated women who made significantly more than me and not given it much of a thought. And as far as intelligence is concerned, the smarter the better, and a couple of my exes have been working on curing cancer. Perhaps this should be two separate questions, because I know a few guys who would have no problem enjoying a rich girlfriend’s lifestyle but just can’t stand being the underdog in a battle of wits.

But the problem with a woman who’s rich and educated might not be the money or education at all—it might be her drive and ambition and other things that make her less soft and feminine, and more like…a man. It also may be that like a lot of us, many of these rich, educated women are in denial about the personality issues that doom their relationships, and would rather blame something that’s obviously not their own fault. This wasn’t lost on the Village Voice, who from their perch on the wrong side of the tracks echo that they’d be all over a successful woman like the Vikings defense on Tony Romo.

I can see another angle, though: a lot of guys want to at least be able to give their woman what she gives him. If we can’t contribute financially or help solve problems, what can we bring to a relationship? And are all those rich, smart women emotionally and socially equipped to clearly let their men know why they’re valued as a partner? (The answer to that second question is, they had better be.)

So back to the question: if your Match.com date pulled her Jaguar into the parking spot next to your Ford Focus to meet for your date, would it intimidate you? Would it affect how you’d handle the date?

More Men Marrying Wealthier Women [New York Times]

Women With Money Cannot Find Husbands, Times Suggests to Our Confusion [Village Voice]

Men Are Increasingly Gold-Digging [Gawker]

3 comments… read them below or add one

Lea January 31, 2010 at 6:15 am

We know that men have this ego that they don’t want to be stepped on by a woman who achieves more out of life. We can’t blame them for that because I think they’re born with that kind of attitude.


Michael January 31, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Wow, Lea, that’s a little blunt, especially from someone involved in relationship coaching, don’t you think? Is there something you’ve experienced that caused you to arrive at that conclusion?

Personally, I think men (and women) have the capacity to overcome the ego – but of course, they have to want to do that. It always takes an open mind.

Thanks for the response!

Lea February 2, 2010 at 2:23 am

Yeah I think men has higher ego specially when they can’t provide the things that a women needs. If you are a man you must be upset if you cannot give the needs of your partner.

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