What does a single guy do on Valentine’s Day? Personally I would just ignore it and thank my lucky stars I got to save a couple hundred dollars and didn’t have to wait for a table at a jammed restaurant. (That was pre-gf, of course. Now I make reservations waaaaay in advance.)
There are also the “anti-Valentine” parties every singles group hosts, but in general it’s not a bad idea to avoid “singles groups” as well.
But if you’ll be spending this Hallmark holiday with a woman, here are a few items that might be of interest. If you’re spending the day stag, you can read them and laugh too.
The first is that über-geekiest of graphics, the flowchart. Courtesy of Dappered, here’s a complete if/then guide to what you should wear on Valentine’s Day (again, if you’ll be spending it with someone of the female variety—if you’re staying at home, feel free to stay put with your “holy” boxers and practically-nacho-crumb-free t-shirt).
It’s both funny and informative, and even includes a list of affordable sources for the clothes in question (although you’ll have to be in their neighborhood, since same-day shipping is hard to come by).
I have to admit I hadn’t read Dappered before, but I appreciate that they have a “Too Expensive” category.
Ask the Right Questions
Or perhaps you’ve had success with our online dating series and you’ll be meeting someone for that all-important first date. The dilemma: how to find out if she sleeps around on the first date?
According to OKCupid and their latest statistical research, it’s simple: offer her a beer. If she takes it, you’re in!**
In fact, you can find out most of your burning questions by asking her things seemingly having zero to do with what you want to know. For example, want to determine whether she’s a sign-misspelling Tea Partier or a wealth-redistributing commie? Just ask her, “Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?” If she likes the straight arrows, she’s more likely to be conservative; if she needs a complicated boy, she’s probably a liberal.
Of course, they never mention in the article that the straight arrows are the ones to watch out for.
**Results may vary. Odds of being kicked in the huevos instead: 3:1.
Desperation: the Sexiest Cologne?
Finally, if you’re actually thinking of one of those “singles group” parties, the always-informative (cough) Howcast has a new video on exactly what to do to get a girl into your bedroom. Apparently, dressing like Sid Vicious is a critical step.
The Best Questions For A First Date [OKCupid]
How to Talk Her into Having Sex with You [Howcast]