Guest Author

"Gimme a tea, you bastard. Please."

(This is a guest post by Kole McRae of Chilled Soda. If you’re interested in guest posting at Tao of Bachelorhood, you can find out more here.)

You are a gentleman. I am dubbing you one and you are going to learn to drink tea like one. This is important and is a skill that you will use for the rest of your life (if you know what’s good for you).

The art of drinking tea (like a goddamn gentleman) has been around for thousands of years. Ancient British and Chinese cultures had complex and sometimes beautiful rituals around the tea serving process. These rituals have changed over the years but many of the basics have remained exactly the same.

These rituals weren’t made up just for the hell of it. Who would go through all that crap just for tea? Hell, you could just buy some from the guy at ye olde Starbucks.

They created these rituals as a form of meditation and relaxation. The tea ceremony helped people clear their mind, relax, reduce stress and generally figure things out. Other forms of meditation include chanting, dancing or even counting to ten, but this form actually produces something delicious.

So I am going to teach you these basics.

Why? Because it will impress women, impress your boss and get some culture into your head.

There are two kinds of tea drunk around the world: bagged and loose-leaf. The instructions I shall bequeath upon you will work fine for both. I’ll make amendments where necessary. You should use loose leaf though…seriously.

Loose leaf tea has a slew of benefits. It can be reused multiple times, it tastes about 400,000,000 times better and the price really isn’t that much higher. Not to mention it just screams sophistication when you open a drawer to make tea and pull out tins of dried leaves imported from around the world…versus opening a box of Tetley.

Back to my lesson:

First, get out your ceramic teapot. Metal teapots will not do. Seriously, metal changes the taste, get a nice ceramic one. This teapot is never to be washed with soap. You may clean it after use with hot water and hot water alone. Take some boiling water and pour it into the teapot, swirl it around a bit. Think you’re done? Swirl it a bit more to be sure. Now you’re done.

Next, take some pure, cold water and bring it to boil in a tea kettle, saucepan…any way you wish. Before it boils—like, a few seconds before that water starts to fully boil, take it off the stove and pour it into the teapot.

This is not tea yet. Do not drink it.

For each person who is joining you in this tea adventure, put one spoonful of tea leaves into the pot and then add one more “for the pot.” If you’re using tea bags, just use one tea bag per person and one extra for the pot. But why the hell would you use tea bags? Are you some kind of animal?

Let it sit for six minutes. It is now tea. The tea leaves should have settled, but tip the tea pot gently as you pour to make sure they stay at the bottom.

Pour the newly made tea first into your friends’ cups, and then into yours. It is customary to do it in a clockwise direction starting immediately to your left. You must be using tea cups, not mugs. You may then add milk and sugar to taste, although why you would do such a thing to the beauty of tea (tarnishing it with your wicked milk) is beyond me.

You absolutely must serve biscuits at this point. If you don’t, you are liable to be shot on sight.

Play some jazz or classical music and enjoy.

Kole McRae is the writer behind Chilled Soda, a site devoted to the chill things in life.


For advanced users only. Really advanced. (Photo by Jim Epler)

Please welcome Schmidty, Tao of Bachelorhood’s very first guest poster. Schmidty is a Image Management consultant and runs a blog called Man Vs. Style. He helps men increase all aspects of their own personal sense of style, helping them to increase confidence, impress women, get a promotion or become a VIP. To check out Schmidty’s work, find him at

One of the problems associated with being a single man is not having a girl’s opinion.

Now, most of the time this is probably a good thing. However, when it comes to dressing ourselves in a stylish manner, it does disadvantage us somewhat.

Why? Because let’s face it, men in general probably don’t have the best eye when it comes to what looks good and what doesn’t.

I will be the first to admit that I did not have a good eye for style. To this day, it probably still isn’t that good, but I can forgo this need by following a few simple rules and paying attention to a few specific things.

Reliance on Girls’ Opinions

We often rely heavily on girls’ opinions, especially if we have been together for a while. Maybe to keep them happy, or maybe just because it is so much easier than having to think for ourselves. This approach to style and dressing ourselves is flawed, because if you end up breaking up:

  1. Your “sense of style” will be lost when you need it most (i.e., to meet other girls).
  2. Girls’ opinions actually differ widely anyway, almost as much as each man’s does towards which football team to follow.

Why Girls’ Opinions can be Good

In order to not need a woman’s opinion, we must first establish why they are usually helpful, and why a woman’s sense of male style might be better than our own.

Below are four main things that set a women’s opinion apart from a typical mans thoughts:

  1. They have a high attention to detail.
  2. They have a very good idea about what to wear for each occasion.
  3. They look at the outfit with a holistic approach.
  4. They are inquisitive.

I will now go into a bit more detail for each one, looking at what we need to do to master each of these.

High Attention to Detail

Anal-retentive, some might call it. And it is annoying when someone picks up the most smallest of flaws in anything, let alone what you are wearing.

But, ultimately,  who are we generally trying to impress?


That’s right, so if women pay attention to detail when you ask them for their opinion, then don’t you think that the other women you encounter in your everyday life are also paying this much attention to detail, and even judging you by it?

The truth is that they are. How many times have you heard people (and especially women) say that your shoes are the most important part of your outfit, even though theoretically they only make up less than 10% of what you are wearing? Because it is the detail.

Some details that we should, but don’t always, pay attention to are:

  1. Watches. First of all make sure you are wearing one. A good looking watch will always get noticed.
  2. Shoes. If nothing else make sure they are clean and not trashed—a mistake that too many men make.
  3. Grooming. Make sure you are well-groomed, from trimming unwanted eyebrow hair to your personal scent to clipping your nails.
  4. Accessories. Women love their accessories, but men don’t use them enough. A good watch, cool sunnies, a single chain, a pocket square in your suit all go a long way.

What to Wear for Each Occasion

I have rocked up to so many events and places where my friends have worn track pants or something equally as casual and looked so far out of place it is not funny, and the only reason is that they had no idea that they should have dressed up a bit more. A bit funny at times, but a bit sad at others.

On the other hand, it is also stupid to wear a tuxedo to a Sunday barbeque.

In order to overcome this embarrassment (although some guys are not even embarrassed, which is actually even more embarrassing), there are a couple things you can do that might seem obvious, but nevertheless should be reinforced for the next time you come across this situation.

  1. Ask the host or organizer what to wear. When I say this, I don’t mean, “Is it black tie?” or “Is it smart casual?” because these definitions in themselves hold lots of ambiguity. So ask specifically, “Is it jeans and a shirt?” or “Is it shirt and slacks?”
  2. Chat to other mates about what they are wearing. Seems a bit gay I know, but as long as you are dressed with the same formality as the guys you are going with, then it doesn’t matter that everyone else at the event is in a different level of dress, because you have mini-social-proof within your own social circle.

Look at Your Outfit with a Holistic Approach

Very, very simple, but often overlooked.

Theoretically, the general principle behind style is that when an individual looks at you, your style should tell a story, first starting with your face and head, and then working its way down to your feet. This sounds a bit Zen, but if you notice when a woman looks at you, even for a split second, they follow this exact path.

Hence, we need to have an “unbroken” approach to our entire outfit.

Some men will think only about the top half and then wear some dress pants in a really bad color that just doesn’t go, but they don’t realize it.

The best way to overcome this is when you finish getting dressed, be sure to take a quick look in the mirror to see the entire outfit together. It takes 20 seconds, but is well worth it.

If you want to avoid this altogether, a technique that I use and teach my clients is “if in doubt, always wear dark blue straight-leg jeans”— an article of clothing that goes with almost anything.

Be Inquisitive

Being inquisitive is not that hard really, it’s just that most of the time men neglect to do it. Since I started being inquisitive about different brands and types of clothes and outfits that other people were wearing or that I saw in stores, choosing and putting together my own outfits has become so very much easier.

Practical things that you can do to be inquisitive:

  1. If you see a friend wearing something you think looks good, ask where they got it from.
  2. Keep pictures of stylish outfits you see on the web and in magazines, and take photos of good outfits you see on mannequins in a store (I do this really quickly with my iPhone, so people think I am writing a text).

Always be on the search for the next “new” thing to wear to your next event.

Keeping it top of mind when you are aimlessly walking past the shops on your way to lunch, or walking down the street and passing by lots of people will help you to always have something stylish to buy (and wear) the next time you need it.

Get a Expert’s Opinion—Free

If you still cannot seem to master style based on the suggestions above, and you still need an opinion, then the best thing to do is get it from someone with an eye for style. How to do this for free? Just ask in the clothing store that you are going to buy from.

If you need a new jacket, then wear the jeans, shoes and shirt that you plan on potentially wearing with it when you go shopping. Ask the person who works in that store, “Does this go?”  or “What would you recommend with this?” Very simple, and it is supposed to be part of the service. Chances are that the sales assistant will have a fair idea, as that is what they do every day.

Final Words

So next time you are putting together your next stylish outfit before you go out, lacking an external opinion, try to do the following:

  1. Pay attention to detail (and include detail where possible).
  2. Wear the right clothes for the occasion.
  3. Take a holistic look at your outfit.

And continually, be inquisitive.

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