Tao of Bachelorhood

What happens when women intrude on men's "moisturizing parties."

There are two schools of thought on men’s facial products:

• “Real men don’t put anything on their faces except maybe some musky, spicy after shave.”

• “I look at Tommy Lee Jones and think maybe I can do better.”

You know, there’s something to be said for that weathered look that adds so much character to a guy…if he’s a movie star. But think about the last regular guy you saw walking down the street with a face that has obviously been unprotected from the elements for 30-40 years and said to yourself, “now there goes a handsome man.”

The fact is, aging happens. Everyone’s face loses elasticity as they get older. But another fact is that it doesn’t have to happen in your 30s. Yet another, third fact is that some of this “natural” weathering can lead to some nasty conditions or even skin cancer.

The way to stay younger looking longer is to treat your skin well, including application of a good moisturizer. This isn’t makeup we’re talking about. It just locks in moisture and protects from the elements. And you don’t have to spend extra time in front of the mirror or buy a medicine chest full of specialized products to do it.

Two minutes of your life you will get back

Your quick skin care regimen starts after you put down the razor: a good after shave balm soothes the burn and protects your skin. First wash your whole face, then rub the balm gently into the damp skin where you shaved.

Then grab your moisturizer—one with an SPF, to protect you from sun damage—and gently apply it from the forehead down. Your skin should be slightly damp, as moisturizers don’t work as well when there’s no moisture to lock in. Be extra gentle in the fragile area under each eye, and don’t forget the nose. If your shave balm has an SPF, you can stop where you applied the balm. If not, continue to apply a protective layer of moisturizer all the way down to your collarbone.

And that, my friend, is it.

You can add a targeted eye cream (some are soothing, as if you splashed your eyes with ice water, but most don’t do much an all-purpose moisturizer can’t do) or a special “serum,” but these aren’t necessary for the basic task of prolonging your youthful skin.

Live well for better skin

Like the rest of your body, your skin also benefits from a positive lifestyle:

• Get enough rest.

• Drink plenty of water.

• Don’t spend long periods in the sun, or wear a hat to shade your face.

• Watch the drinking binges.

• Eat healthy food. (Salmon and tuna are especially good for the skin.)

With the stopgap exceptions of Botox and facelifts, there’s little you can do to get your younger look back when your face edges into Christopher Walken territory, so prevention is your best weapon.

What to buy

I’ve tried a few products over the years, and a few stand out.

To help keep your pores clean after you shave, Neutrogena Deep Clean Facial Cleanser is a simple face wash. In fact, for basic, inexpensive products Neutrogena rules, and you really don’t have to spend much for a good face wash.

A few great aftershave balms I’ve tried are Zirh SOOTHE Post-shave Solution and Billy Jealousy Shaved Ice After-Shave Balm on the higher end, and Nivea for Men Cooling Post Shave Balm on the more inexpensive side.

My favorite moisturizer is Zirh PROTECT Face Moisturizer—I’m yet to find anything I like better. But because your mileage (and budget) may vary, I recently tried Neutrogena Men Age Fighter Face Moisturizer and it does its job without clogging my pores, which I can’t say of everything at that price.

To wrap, a couple of minutes per day will help add at least a few years to your skin’s elasticity—and combined with the right lifestyle, you could end up looking 35 when you’re 45. But like saving for retirement, starting early yields the best results.

You can look “like you’ve really lived,” or you can really live and just keep them guessing. The choice is yours.

You did not want to be drinking Bud Light anyway. (Photo by awnisALAN)

Well, the Tao hasn’t been around for quite a full year yet, but I’ve put a lot of content into the ol’ place, and it’s a great time to reflect on the stuff I think you can most learn from, or be entertained by. Also, I’m putting my time into finishing off the Starter Workout e-book for you, so this takes the place of new content.

1. A Simple Starter Workout — how to get yourself started in an exercise program with commitment and intensity.
2. Attracting Better Women, and The Myth of “Up-dating” — can you really get women who are “out of your league”?
3. 10 Steps to Working a Room — aka How to Meet People. Use this tonight!
4. The Most Important Trait for Men, and How to Get It — whatever you want in life, you can’t really have it until you have this.
5. 22 Tips to Jumpstart Your Life — you can’t “just do it” until you have something to do. Here are 22 somethings.
6. Eat Right — how to get your kitchen stocked to start feeding yourself properly.
7. Body Hair: Keep, Trim or Shave — what women want to see, with charts.
8. Dating: Picking Up the Check — this tricky question, unquestionably decided in an iron-clad fashion.
9. How to Perform 14 Basic Skills (Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3) — one men’s site wants you to learn these things; I actually help you learn them.
10. How to Tell When a Woman is Interested — she actually can’t help but let you know, and this is how.
11. Be Observant; Be Successful — two words that will change your life: pay attention.
12. No-Weights Workout — you have zero excuse now.

I hope you have an awesome New Year, and if you have a choice of parties tonight, pick the one that’s the smallest or with the largest percentage of close friends. Leave the drunken mass gatherings to the amateurs.

Almost makes me want to go shave again right now.

With Christmas around the corner, I thought it might be a good idea to offer a few ideas for that man on your Xmas list…or for yourself.

Let’s start with something every man (except maybe Zach Galifianakis) needs: a close, smooth shave. The kind that doesn’t come from a quick slathering from a can of aerosol foam. The kind where a sharp blade meets prepared skin and a softened beard to make you feel like a brand new man. The kind without razor burn, razor bumps, nicks or cuts.

There’s one name that comes up again and again when guys talk about shaving: The Art of Shaving. TAoS makes a full line of quality shaving products, from shaving creams to brushes to high-end razors.

But you don’t have to drop $200 on a fancy blade holder for an awesome morning toilette. What I’m suggesting is an intro to a better shave: The Art Of Shaving 4 Elements of the Perfect Shave set. Here’s what you get:

• Pre-shave oil, with essential oils to lubricate your skin and soften your beard.
• Shave cream formulated to condition your skin while lifting your beard for a closer shave than foam.
• A badger shaving brush to work in the shave cream, open your pores and further lift your beard – it feels incredible.
• After-shave balm with grapeseed extract, shea butter and other herbal ingredients, to soothe and refresh your skin.

I used to be skeptical about whether or not a high-quality shave cream or balm would make a difference for me. I’ve got pretty smooth skin and I’m not prone to the awful razor burn some guys get, so I was happy to stick with my canned gel for most of my life. Then I tried some samples of some quality shave products and was blown away, both by the unexpected closeness of the shave and by how great my face felt afterward.

Seriously, if you’ve never lathered your skin with a badger brush or prepped it with pre-shave oil, it’s a treat you’ll want to enjoy again and again, whether you shave with a modern triple-blade or a classic safety razor. And TAoS gives you a choice of lemon, lavender, sandalwood or unscented versions.

Set the tone for your day with a classic, stimulating shave. More gift ideas coming up.

Full disclosure: the product links above earn me a little bit of money. However, I’m not going to recommend something here that I wouldn’t recommend to a friend, or be excited to see under my own tree.

I’ve gone over this before, but from the moment we grow our first short hairs until it starts growing out of ridiculous places, the question is: Grow it, groom it, or scrape it?

If I was a hermit, would I let my chest hair run wild and my nose grow a mustache out from within? Perhaps, and I don’t think there’s a guy out there who wishes he didn’t have to deal with body hair (or has already said “screw it”). But I’m not planning to be living in a mountain cave anytime soon. I like people, and I prefer that they’re not run away when I approach them. I especially like women, and…well, as it turns out, they prefer a well-trimmed hedge.

On the other hand, the razor manufacturers would have you believe that a complete clear-cut is the answer. But in addition to itchy, painful stubble and ingrown hairs, it turns out women like that even less than they like a full, unmanicured growth. I don’t put a lot of stock in surveys from commercial interests, but this one from Remington (who makes trimmers) pretty much matches what I’ve seen and heard from women.

Plus I’ve got charts.

First there’s the issue of chest hair. Interestingly, the largest percentage of women don’t mind if you don’t touch it at all. And that’s good, because not many of us do. (More on that later.) But only about 1 in 6 prefer a smooth chest, which coincidentally used to be your odds of winning a free RC Cola.

Moving on to the naughty bits, Gillette would have you believe that every girl crazy ’bout a hairless man. It turns out the same ones who like a smooth chest also like smooth testicles. Again, women are mostly deadlocked on whether to trim or let the garden grow free. However, 56 percent of women under 40 prefer you trim it a tad, and a whopping 60 percent of women who are actually dating say they want to see neatness down there, so unless you’re hoping to target elderly shut-ins, get some clippers.

All that’s left to say is that if you choose au naturel and you’re hoping for a lady to head down south, you had better be cleaner than Howie Mandel down there.

Finally we have what I call the Body Grooming Gap: the difference between what guys trim and what is actually visually unappealing to women. As you can see, some of the differences are enormous.

And the major surprise here is not really that almost all women really want you to do something about that butt hair, but that so few guys with back hair do anything about it. I mean, a man is more likely to shave his arse than make sure he isn’t wearing a sweater to the pool? It may be a problem with the survey, but if you’re one of these men, after you’ve waxed your tush you might consider continuing above the waist.

And I’m surprised at the large number of men who say they groom their faces. While Remington defines this as ear, eyebrow and nose hair, from the sheer number of women who wonder why guys don’t trim their nostril gardens I have to believe guys misunderstood and answered “yes” if they shave. But you seem to be getting the groin thing about right — there’s a groomed man for almost every woman who wants one (considering, like I mentioned before, most of the women who don’t want one don’t get out of the house much).

There are all kinds of adjustments to be made to this survey: younger guys generally groom more, younger women generally like it that way, and we don’t know if the survey only polled men who actually had hair in those places. But the point is that according to women it doesn’t hurt to do at least a little trimming.

Ideas on best grooming methods? Let me hear ‘em!

Survey: Women Want Men To Do More Body Hair Grooming, Especially Below the Neck [PR Newswire]

I thought Rule 1 was "don't talk about Hair Club."

I hope you had a great Halloween. I’ve said before that it’s my favorite holiday, and this one didn’t disappoint. Good friends (in good costumes), good booze and good music conspired for an awesome night. Next up, holiday-wise: a Thanksgiving ski trip.

In baseball news, the Yomiuri Giants just beat the Nippon Ham Fighters 7-4 Tuesday in Game 3 of the Japan Series. (First guy to refer to the latter team as the “Ham Fighters” gets punched in the throat. That includes you, Costas.)

Don’t forget, I’m growing a mustache for Movember. Donate if you can.

• The Real Enemy is the Asshole: Sympathy for the skeezy sees the journalist taking on the world of pickup artists, and discovering the truth that as much as they want to be accepted by women, they also want to be accepted by each other. [Las Vegas Weekly]

• “And You Also Have Two Ears. Excellent”: You’re Beautiful is David Wygant again slapping down guys who try and make a business out of bad pickup ideas. David rules. [davidwygant.com]

• And Don’t Forget to Not Steal Their Purses: 10 Things Men Do to NOT get a second date is not only awkwardly capitalized, it’s almost a list that goes without saying — although the insistence that women never, ever “go psycho” is kind of funny in a way that makes me think the author might be a little, um, [whistles]. [PowderRoomTalk]

• The ‘Duh’ Desk, Open 24/7: More screen time may mean less lean time tells you that if you watch a lot of TV, you’re at risk of getting fat. Apparently science needed to prove it. [LA Times]

• Best Headline Ever: Kate Hudson: Men All Think with A Rod. Didn’t read it. Didn’t have to. [fashion.ie]

• Hell, Just Walk to Work: A Marathon Run in the Slow Lane is a counterpoint to the Times’ article on the folks who make a day of it. Point being, exercise is exercise — who cares if the support staff has to wait because you ate lunch after mile 15? [NY Times]

• More on Movember: Movember Foundation promotes mustache growing for cancer awareness has a little more background. Grow that mo! [LA Times]

Not actually Wooly Willy.

For the past month and a half I grew out some facial hair to rock a fairly authentic Captain Jack Sparrow for Halloween. Then, on November 1st, I shaved it all off.

Now I’m starting the process all over again, but this time it’s not just for me: I’m participating in Movember 2009, raising dollars and awareness for prostate and testicular cancer worldwide during the month of November. The Movember Foundation has raised millions for beneficiaries like the Prostate Cancer Foundation and The Lance Armstrong (LIVESTRONG) Foundation.

Men all over the world will be growing mustaches for the entire month of November, as a visual reminder of these important issues for men:

• 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.
• Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in men 18-35.

You can stay posted on my progress through my Movember “MoSpace” page. While you’re there, please consider making a donation — of any size — towards men’s cancer research. While simply raising awareness is important, so is research. Times are tight for everyone, but do what you can.

If you’d like to participate by growing your own “mo,” you’re only a day behind — sign up now at Movember.com.

My thoughts exactly.

The week before Halloween, and it’s kind of quiet. I’ve got my costume, have been growing out my beard especially for it (No, I’m going neither as ZZ Top nor Band of Horses) and I’ve got my connection for easy party access. If you don’t have your costume, I just wrote something that might help.

So let’s get on with the hot link action:

• Eating a Steak is Cheaper: Testosterone drives men to buy fast cars is a little misleading: it’s driving the cars that boosts the T, not the buying. “It’s literally the peacock’s tail. It’s the human version,” the researcher said, explaining why so many are driven by guys who have lost most of their head feathers. [cbc.ca]

• In Case You Missed It…How?: Drink’s iPhone ‘App’ Gets Anger Flowing is a rundown of the controversy over the “Amp Up Before You Score” application, in which AdFreak asks the question, “Does anyone not dislike Amp’s iPhone app?” Right over here, buddy. [Wall Street Journal]

• Not Letting Amp Get All the Resentment: Remington Launches “The Face of Success” details the new site from the electric shaver company, wherein you select from a range of facial hair styles before heading out to pick up fantasy computer women in Vegas. Kind of like World of Warcraft for someone who can’t make friends online. [MarketWire]

• Football and Fart Jokes Too: WHY DO MEN LOVE BEARDS WHEN WOMEN HATE THEM? the author asks, in his all-caps glory. It seems England has gone beard-crazy now that David Beckham has spent his summer in America cultivating a hair farm, but the Mail places the blame on another favorite son: “George Michael is most to blame for this,” they whinge, apparently forgetting all about Miami Vice. [Mail Online]

• Jargon Makes Your Brain Smaller: Can exercise get rid of this dude’s ‘moobs’? correctly points out that weight training doesn’t cause gynecomastia, but don’t let me see you using the term “moobs” in my presence again. [MSNBC]

• “What? You Need 900 Words?”: Why real men DO buy women flowers is basically a touching story of how the author’s dying father’s last action was to order a bouquet for his wife. But then the piece takes a turn for the bizarre: “I recently bought flowers for a lady I’m a’ courting. We were set to meet at the soda jerk for a malt…” I stopped reading there. Either he found Doc’s DeLorean in the barn or thought it would be post-ironic or something. In any case, flowers are for relationships (either established or expected). [CNN/The Frisky]

• Here, We Just Have to Drive 45 Minutes: When Love Is a Schlep reminds us why New Yorkers sometimes make non-New Yorkers queasy (besides the Yankees): When you live on the Upper West Side and your date lives on the Lower East Side, she had better really be awesome. [New York Times]

• The ‘Duh’ Desk Didn’t Collapse Last Week After All: Japanese men invest in their looks. This might have been news 20 years ago….nope, not then, either. [The Independent]

• The Fashion Industry Loves You: Mad Men Rolls Out Clothes, But Will They Sell? has the audacity to suggest that a retro-style TV series may not convince us to dress like it’s the ’50s, but the editor of British GQ thinks differently: “Americans are more easily led.” Yeah, but our The Office is better, so there. [New York Magazine]