Tao of Bachelorhood

There are very few truly great men’s sites out there. Most feature reposts of softcore bikini photos from FHM or Maxim, reposts of gadget finds from Gizmodo or GDGT, and all the lifestyle help of a beer commercial.

And then there’s The Art of Manliness. I’ve raved about Brett and Kate McKay’s site before, and as time goes on I have even more respect for them and their classic-yet-fresh take on masculinity. Well, they recently completed their first book—and true to form, it’s not an e-book sold on Clickbank, it’s a paper-and-ink tome fittingly titled The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man.

This book delivers on its promise in spades. If you get past the swaggering Victorian dandy on the cover you’ll find practical advice that applies here and now, for almost every aspect of a man’s life.

Its eight chapters reflect all sides of the total man: “The Gentleman,” “The Friend,” “The Hero,” “The Lover,” “The Father,” “The Outdoorsman,” “The Leader” and “The Virtuous Man.” “The Gentleman,” for example, includes tips and advice on becoming well-groomed and well-mannered, from how to fold a pocket square and iron pants to the “lost art” of wet shaving with a safety razor. If you want to know the difference between the American Man Hug and the International Man Hug, how to land a plane in an emergency or how to braid your daughter’s hair, it’s in there.

As a bonus, I found Art of Manliness to be a quick, engaging read. Where the AoM site frequently discusses its topics at length, the book is concise and well-structured, quickly laying out the steps to a tip or the case for a concept and moving on.

The thread tying these tips and trivia together is the notion that what makes a man a man has never changed—it just gets lost in the noise. A well-put-together guy still has a better shot at the women, fathering is still a manly art, and a guy who practices common courtesy as well as his fighting skills still has a leg up on both the meathead and the mouse. As on their site, much of the references here are from a “golden age” of manliness that may or may not be a tad idealized, but the information is solid.

Most of this book is just plain common sense, and you’ll find yourself nodding in agreement with advice like “Stop Hanging Around with Women and Start Dating Them” and “Give and Accept Criticism Without Coming Off as a Cad.” That’s not to say there aren’t some concepts that might make you think twice: reading the McKays’ advice on “Modern Technology and the New Rules of Etiquette,” you might realize you’ve been using your cell and e-mail less like a man and more like a cross between a 14-year-old girl and Unfrozen Caveman Computer Nerd. (Yes, it IS possible to use actual grammar in an e-mail message!)

Reading deeper, another key concept surfaces: one change we’ve suffered in the modern world is that the brotherhood of men has become less of a brotherhood and more like a loose circle of disposable acquaintances. And that, son, makes you disposable too. How many of us under the age of 50 (hell, 65) have thought of joining a fraternal organization? And how often have you planned a vacation with your buddies that involved gathering firewood or catching your own dinner? I think the McKays nailed it on the head: there’s an underlying homophobia that keeps us leery of true male friendships, and a modern detachment that keeps us closed off from (or worse, antagonistic toward) our communities.

Rant over—the point is, you will learn something from The Art of Manliness, and you’ll come away a better man no matter where you come from. The first print run completely sold out before Christmas, so if you’ve already got it, bully for you! If you don’t, the second printing is now available, so make haste before it’s gone too.

The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man [Amazon.com]

Almost makes me want to go shave again right now.

With Christmas around the corner, I thought it might be a good idea to offer a few ideas for that man on your Xmas list…or for yourself.

Let’s start with something every man (except maybe Zach Galifianakis) needs: a close, smooth shave. The kind that doesn’t come from a quick slathering from a can of aerosol foam. The kind where a sharp blade meets prepared skin and a softened beard to make you feel like a brand new man. The kind without razor burn, razor bumps, nicks or cuts.

There’s one name that comes up again and again when guys talk about shaving: The Art of Shaving. TAoS makes a full line of quality shaving products, from shaving creams to brushes to high-end razors.

But you don’t have to drop $200 on a fancy blade holder for an awesome morning toilette. What I’m suggesting is an intro to a better shave: The Art Of Shaving 4 Elements of the Perfect Shave set. Here’s what you get:

• Pre-shave oil, with essential oils to lubricate your skin and soften your beard.
• Shave cream formulated to condition your skin while lifting your beard for a closer shave than foam.
• A badger shaving brush to work in the shave cream, open your pores and further lift your beard – it feels incredible.
• After-shave balm with grapeseed extract, shea butter and other herbal ingredients, to soothe and refresh your skin.

I used to be skeptical about whether or not a high-quality shave cream or balm would make a difference for me. I’ve got pretty smooth skin and I’m not prone to the awful razor burn some guys get, so I was happy to stick with my canned gel for most of my life. Then I tried some samples of some quality shave products and was blown away, both by the unexpected closeness of the shave and by how great my face felt afterward.

Seriously, if you’ve never lathered your skin with a badger brush or prepped it with pre-shave oil, it’s a treat you’ll want to enjoy again and again, whether you shave with a modern triple-blade or a classic safety razor. And TAoS gives you a choice of lemon, lavender, sandalwood or unscented versions.

Set the tone for your day with a classic, stimulating shave. More gift ideas coming up.

Full disclosure: the product links above earn me a little bit of money. However, I’m not going to recommend something here that I wouldn’t recommend to a friend, or be excited to see under my own tree.

Another offer I can make while I’m not yet slammed with traffic and requests: I’m offering to review any and all products. It can be a book, an e-book, a self-help system, a gadget or iPhone app, a car, a website, anything — as long as it’s something that would be of interest to single men — just send it to me and I’ll review it.

The deal is that I’ll give my honest opinion. I’ll try and be constructive, but if I don’t like it I’ll say so.

Just drop me an e-mail at bachelorhood@gmail.com and we can make arrangements. Or mail to Tao of Bachelorhood, P.O. Box 84671, Seattle, WA 98124-5971.

This is a limited offer, and I reserve the right to end it at any time, so come jump on the bandwagon now, while it’s not so full!